I have had the honor of having a good friend/borderline sister for 20+ years. We have both been through similar life events that bring us closer when we start to drift apart, and it is one of those friendships where time passes yet we manage to pick up right where we left off once we get together. I am so proud of her and her accomplishments and, with her permission, I wanted to share her musings on finding balance between staying connected, detaching, and finding space for yourself. Thank you for being you, Care.
Unattached, disconnected, and everything in between
It’s rare that I am unattached. That my phone is not in-hand. That I’m not checking a news feed or email or text messages.
In this moment I’m somewhat unattached…still iPhone in-hand, typing in the notes app, but still forcing myself to breath…meditate I guess you can say.
I’m sitting on my deck with my dog. The white noise is fading to a dull roar. I can hear the sounds that relax me creeping through; Coco breathing through her sweet cold, wet nose, a few kids and their Mom playing at the park, laughing, the “woosh” of the cars passing by on the busy street behind our home, sweet birds talking back and forth.
I can feel the warmth of the sun soak up into my black yoga pants and black sweatshirt, balanced with the crisp air kissing my hands, feet, and cheeks. The sun feels like a blanket over me on a cool night. I can actually feel calmness run through me. Watching my dog enjoying this time is like a mirrored image. It’s a perfect balance; her energy is pure, she has nothing to worry about, nothing on her mind except how great the sun’s rays feel on her dark coat. While I have thoughts creep into my head and white noise try’s to get louder, watching her breath reminds me to do the same. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Balance.
I can see the park from our deck, three golden, baseball fields, and lots of green grass, all different shades. The sun saturates it’s color, like a real-life filter on your phone. I can see where the grass has been worn in and shared it’s life. Whether it was dogs playing or people running on it. Just like the ocean shows it’s depth in colors, this grass does too; light green to dark green to mud in spots of play or leisure.
It’s amazing what you can feel when you disconnect from the connected and then reconnect with yourself. There are a lot of layers in there.
What would happen if I disconnected a little bit every day?
Would I feel “out of the loop”?
Would I actually be “out of the loop” and unaware of reality?
How much is too much?
How much is enough?
I do believe in balance. A balanced mind, body, and soul. So what is enough?
I’ll break down the 24 hours in a day:
7 hours of sleep (disconnected)
7 hours of work (connected)
But what happens with the rest of those hours? There’s 9 hours left of leisure. How many of those are connected to the social network or disconnected entirely or connected to myself?
(Written by Carrie S.)